yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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