oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
