Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
