also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
