a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
