I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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