He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
