The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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