I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
