Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
