Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
