I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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