i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
