is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
