did you get engaged???
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize