I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
