She said her name was "party"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
