The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
