i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
