You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
