You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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