One girl and one boy is just not enough.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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