Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He shit in the fireplace
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
