THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
