pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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