How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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