life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
