So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
