pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
