And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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