He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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