What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
