Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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