Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
