why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We need to get me chipped asap
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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