im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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