She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
