I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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