You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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