Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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