I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
