just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
