Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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