pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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