it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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