I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize