Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
