I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
