He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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