yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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