got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
