i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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