if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
