Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
