I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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