I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
