At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
