quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
