The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
