The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
