you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize