My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
